Confessions of a Teenage Sociopath

2006-11-14T15:03:00.000+08:00

This blog has ceased to be updated and I have moved to AdamWasFoundDeadAt.blogspot.com

Nevertheless, I will not shut down this blog for nostalgic reasons.
Thank you all.

I'm Missing You

2006-11-08T15:32:00.000+08:00

Though I'm missing you
I'm not going through the motions
Waiting and hoping you call me
I try not to miss you
You might have had me open
But I can't go on because
My heart is with you
I know I'm usually hanging on
I really hate to see you gone
But this time it's different
Trying not to feel the distance
Though I'm missing
I try not to miss you...

Saving Me (video review)

2006-05-31T16:28:00.000+08:00

watch the video...

Won't it be kinda cool if you could actually see how much time other people have left in their lives? So if their time actually runs out, you're able to pull them out of danger. but the only ones that you cant help are those already dying.

like the old woman.

but the downside is that when you are the one being pulled out of certain death, you are living on borrowed time.
that's why the guy cant see his own "countdown".

he should be dead.

just imagine, if everyone had that gift.
or curse.

it varies on how you look at it.
but one thing's for sure,
the world as we see it will never be the same again...

Moving Soon

2006-05-24T20:52:00.000+08:00

yes, you read it right.
your friendly neighbourhood sociopath is moving to a new (blog)town near you.

details will be posted soon.
but meanwhile, enjoy this little cosy corner while it lasts,
cos this may be the last time you'll ever type "adamisasociopath.blogspot.com".

and thank you for being there with me for the past 1 and a half years, and as well as sharing the highs and the lows,sorrow and joy along with me.

thank you.

and also,

adam "3hree6ixty"

Love Is Only A Feeling

2006-05-17T14:30:00.000+08:00

The first flush of youth was upon you when our eyes first met
And I knew that to you and into your life I had to get
I felt light-headed at the touch of this stranger's hand
An assault my defences systematically failed to withstand

'Cos you came at a time
When the pursuit of one true love in which to fall
Was the be all and end all

Love is only a feeling
(Drifting away)
When I'm in your arms I start believing
(It's here to stay)
But love is only a feeling
Anyway

The state of elation that this unison of hearts achieved
I had seen, I had touched, I had tasted and I truly believed

That the light of my life
Would tear a hole right through each cloud that scudded by
Just to beam on you and I

Love is only a feeling
(Drifting away)
When I'm in your arms I start believing
(It's here to stay)
But love is only a feeling
Anyway, anyway

Love is only a feeling
(Drifting away)
And we've got to stop ourselves believing
(It's here to stay)
'Cos love is only a feeling
Anyway.

2006-05-03T15:58:00.000+08:00

You Are a Creative Cook

Your cooking is unusual, inspired, and definitely one of a kind. People love your unique style, but you've had your share of kitchen flops.
You have the makings of a cult chef. You may not cook at the Four Seasons, but you could have your own little funky cafe in San Francisco!

Are You A Good Cook?

yeah, i can cook.

but the difficult part is eating it.

Sincerity: Lost & Undervalued

2006-04-21T14:45:00.000+08:00

sometimes,
u can give everything and do anything for someone and say you don't expect anything in return.
but in reality, that's not true.
you see, deep down inside, you expect at least a bit of recognition from that person.
a small favor, maybe?
or a little something to give you?
but no matter how small that token of acknowledgment may be,
you would be at ease thinking that the person had at least,
tried.

how much you expect back form that person depends on what that person means to you.
the more that person means to you, the less you expect in return.
the less that person means to you, the more you expect in return.
weird.
but it's true.

sincerity is difficult to get back once you lost it.
look around yourselves.
people do things and get something in return.
for example, a corporate organisation donates to an orphanage.
for some reason, the mass media is present at this some sort of huge event and it gets reported on the front page
the next day.
and then the next month, the organisation receives investment offers and its share value soars in the stock market.
now do you get the motive?
but you compare it to a volunteer who gives his time and energy feeding and taking care of these same orphans over time,
to who do these children turn to for a listening ear?
the corporate organisation who gets to stuff dollars bills up their mouths and noses with some to spare for the other end?
or the volunteer who after spending his free time to do something selfless, gets a "thank you" and a "see you tomorrow"?
children are very simple in nature.
it's nurture that twists and shapes them and complicates their thinking.
a child believes in his sense of touch and sight more than his other senses.
so what good is money and material comforts when that child doesn't have someone to cling on to when lightning flashes and thunder claps?
what if that child doesn't have someone to comfort them when they fall?
what if that child doesn't have someone to check under their bed for monsters and scare them away?
what good is money if that child doesn't have anyone?

Hopeless, Helpless, Useless, & Jobless.

2006-04-12T20:00:00.000+08:00

i just cant seem to find a decent job.

none of the places i've applied have called for a follow-up interview.
getting sick and tired of this wild goose chase.

she'll be starting tomorrow and i feel like a useless bum, leeching off her.

while she is preparing for her 1st day at work, here i am, sitting down like a FUCKIN'
loser, wasting my time typing this lameass post.

screw it all.

march... whatever.

2006-03-27T16:50:00.000+08:00

well, its been a long while since i've last posted.
just that this is my worst month i've experienced.
mostly emotional and financial stuff.
yeah.
i ask you,
isn't it kind of ridiculous that with all my experience in f&b and customer service,
i can even secure a job at starbucks.
and get this,
she got the job instead of me.
kinda funny, rite?
not unless you experience it yourself.

on a cold wet day...

2006-02-10T16:55:00.000+08:00

something set me thinking today. (something always does)
as i got on the bus to school this morning, i noticed a man in his 50-60s with a 2-ft long stereo in his lap.
nothing wrong with that.
just that he was blaring the damn thing in the bus and tuning to different stations.
and sitting rite b'hind him didnt help ease my senses.
come to think of it, why did i ever sit there in the 1st place? (yeah, why?)
maybe there werent any other vacant seats left. (me and my maybe's)
wearing just one dangling, flashy ear-ring on his left earlobe, talking to himself - out loud - and obviously oblivious (kinda oxymoronic, aint it?) to the irritated faces around him, i was sure that he wasnt "right up there".

and i wondered, how can mental therapists (the rapists. haha! ok i'll shut up.) and psychologists even attempt to classify and group these people, knowing very well that they are more unpredictable in their behaviour and that they fail to see that behaviourial patterns are over-rated?

to prove this, i ask you: how many people suffering from extreme depression are able to make a 100% full recovery?
u dont know?
that's because they dont want to divulge that kind of information due to the fact that there are more failed treatments than successful ones.
they have not or refuse to believe that their system is flawed.
the only treatment for mental illnesses is prevention. period.
so stay sane.

left outside alone

2006-01-27T16:38:00.000+08:00

i dont know why,
but my classmates seem to be avoiding me for the whole week.
is it something i did?
i'd probalby never know the reason behind it.
whenever i tried asking about it, they make up excuses like "no time to talk", "rushing off to somewhere"
or are called away by their friends.
not that i mind.
but my project requires me to be in a group, but every group i approach seems to be "full capacity"
or so they told me.
and no matter where i sit in the lecture theater,
the whole row that i'm on would be empty.
i've got less than a week to find a group willing to "adopt" me.
i know that i cant be choosy, but what's the point of
dumping me into a group of china folk with heavily accented english? (no offence intended)
no communication=no work=no diploma.
so just to sum it all up,
i've just had a pretty shitty week in sch,
thank you very much.

now let me be.

you wont miss the water till the well runs dry

2006-01-25T17:00:00.000+08:00

it's 6ix days before the big day and i'm crumbling to pieces.
right after i talked to her, something set me thinking that kept me up the whole night.
my teen years, the part of my life i spent my childhood days waiting for, has been wasted.
and i dont blame anyone but myself.
right from the start in sec 1, my social life was set to fail. found it difficult to make friends and guess what?
i still do.
just one look at my msn contacts and friendster testimonials, is enough to be called pathetic. and please,
dont tell me that people who have few friends are close with them.
not for my case.
those on my contacts list who actually bother to contact me either have their problems for me to solve, or are up
for some pointless conversation.
okay, back in sec sch, when friends went for certain camps, i was okay with it, cos there were a considerable number who didnt get to go, too.
i began to feel a bit left out when schoolmates started to organise their own chalet sleepovers, i never went to one. the reason being that they were unsuitable,
or i was never invited.
then when i got back my o'level results, i didnt pass, nor failed. and with this kind of result that was in limbo, no poly wanted to take the risk of
taking me in. ok, fine.
so after 5 rejection slips later, i finally gave up appealling.
still undeterred, i found a spot in a private institution.
thinking that that i can shove my past back into the isolated recesses of my mind, never to be brought up again.
but i didnt know how wrong i could have ever been.
when some of my old friends called me up just to tell me that their sch organised overseas trips for them,
i sunk. deep.
its bad enough they never invited me in the past, now they're rubbing it in by telling me these things.
i feel like rubbing their faces on the tarmac road.
dont laugh.
it wasn't meant to be funny.
its bad enough my sch doesnt have vacation.
and after this, i'm most likely off to go for my NS.
since i cant see any point of continuing my life like this.
this year will be the final year that i will be spending as a teenager.
sometimes i feel like quitting sch and transferring to poly.
but i know that its not financially possible.
its pointless to conceive of the impossible.
now, i look back and think, maybe i deserve all this.
its my punishment for not doing well in studies.
that's why i'm stuck in a sch where conspiracies and hypocracies thrive
hand in hand.
i can barely solve my own problems and people expect me to listen and solve theirs?
a human being can only do so much. much less one who has gone through misfortune along his life.
from now on, i dont want to hear anyone else's problems. they've got brains, use 'em.
if not, use their friends', since they seem to have more than i do.
i cant even solve my own problems. so just give me a break, ok?
you know, its funny when i think back to a time when a friend of mine who got a girlfriend then told me to get one as well.
back then i didnt say anything.
but now, as the tables are reversed, i never mentioned anything about it and he's the one complaining that he's "so alone", "nobody wants him" or somewhere along those lines.
yes, you know who you are, so dont bother asking me.
then yesterday i found out that she's going to KL for 4 days that her sch organised sometime in april or october.
i cant help but envy her.
but i'm happy for her as well.
she always wanted this sort of thing.
the one thing i will never have.
but too, had always wanted.

bitter and broken,
signing off.

looking for an answer?

2005-12-22T13:54:00.000+08:00

hmm... hardship.
one word,
many interpretations...
but the main ones are
physical and emotional hardship.
the most obvious and easiest to spot is physical hardship.
since it can be seen, it can be solved.
but emotional hardship is not as easy...
ppl hide it so well that others are totally oblivious to it.
sometimes, it better to let others see through you,
it might just be the best thing that could've happen to you.
who knows, they might be holding on to the answer that you were looking fo all along..
just ponder on this for awhile.

point of no return

2005-12-07T13:17:00.000+08:00

dont people ever realise whatever that they're doing in one moment may affect others in the next?
life is like that... no matter how much you try to estrange yourself from the world, you never really escape from it. you WILL be influenced by it, until the day you leave this world...
i dont blame you people for not understanding what i'm writing here...
for those who do, most probably you'd already been thru it.
when friends go to you for answers to their problems, what's the first thing that you do?
make up an excuse to leave? listen half-heartedly? or worse, snap out at them, saying they're nothing more than leeching from you for a little bit of happiness?

if you do, just pray that if anything happens soon after, dont regret...

2005-11-10T13:02:00.000+08:00

a belated selamat hari raya to u ppl!
hey, better late than never, rite?
well, anyway, have the feeling that it's gonna be a hectic month.
wont have a lot of free time. (heck, when did i ever?)
my school and work schedules have been colliding on occasions, now.
must be careful.
gotta straighten things out by the end of this month.
have to organise time between school, work, relationship, family n friends...
i hate planning ahead...
nvm, cant blog so much today.
gotta get to school,
catch you ppl later.
ciao!

2005-10-31T13:37:00.000+08:00

happy halloween, people.
hmm...
yep.
i noe it's been a while since i did a proper post.
so sue me.
well anyway, i've been rather busy this oct.
seems that my life's shifted into a faster gear than usual.
i hope that she can catch up with me.
but i'm thankful enuf that i have a gf who understands my pace of life.
cos not a lot of people do.
yeah...
took some time off to myself last week. time to think.
she could barely survive (no offence) for 2 days.
maybe i shouldnt go for so long in the future.
for her sake.
but for now, i gtg,
gonna be late for school.
ciao!

2005-10-24T13:57:00.000+08:00

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

2005-09-25T19:05:00.000+08:00

TIMES LIKE THESE
Foo Fighters
I am a one way motorway
I’m the one that drives away
Then follows you back home
I am a street light shining
I’m a wild light blinding bright
Burning off alone

It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s times like these you learn to love again
It’s times like these time and time again

I am a new day rising
I’m a brand new sky
To hang the stars upon tonight
I am a little divided
Do I stay or run away
And leave it all behind?

It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s times like these you learn to love again
It’s times like these time and time again

2005-09-25T18:32:00.000+08:00

The past makes you who you are now.
you cant just leave it behind.
it's bound to follow you wherever you will go.
some ppl try to make a whole new beginning by ditching their past.
most fail.
as for me,
i dont even have enough of a past to build upon.
barely any photos, contacts, anything...
from age seven to 15/16, is like lost somewhere between the folds of time.
all that i have left is memories that're slowly fading away...
trying to salvage all i can by writing them down...
but it's already too late.
more than half is gone...
a decade lost.
a lifetime to regret.
that's my sacrifice.

2005-09-25T18:31:00.000+08:00

CREED LYRICS

"My Sacrifice"

Hello my friend, we meet again
It's been awhile, where should we begin?
Feels like forever
Within my heart are memories
Of perfect love that you gave to me
Oh, I remember

When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice

We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh how quickly life can turn around
In an instant
It feels so good to reunite
Within yourself and within your mind
Let's find peace there

When you are with me, I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice

I just want to say hello again
I just want to say hello again

When you are with me I'm free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
Cause when you are with me I am free
I'm careless, I believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice, My sacrifice

I just want to say hello again
I just want to say hello again

My sacrifice.

2005-09-18T16:41:00.000+08:00

wonder wad would've happened if i din exist for the past 5 yrs?
would saifud still be in npcc?
would my 4 classes throughout sec. sch be any less crazy?
how many ppl do i matter to
u decide...

2005-09-05T15:47:00.000+08:00

a lot of thoughts running thru my mind
these past few days.
my classmates told me that i've changed a lot from
my usual self last semester.
i told them that i AM my usual self.
last semester was only a front i put up.
that means that they have to get to know me
all over again.
cant be bothered with how they think of me, anymore.
i know that academically, i'm moving a lot faster than
my old friends.
but socially, i'm being left behind.
yes, i know that a select few are waiting for me to catch up.
but they can only wait for so long.
'cos they know as well as i do that
once u're out,
it's hard to get back in.
when i listen to my friends relating about their day in school,
i cant help but feel envious.
their curriculum allows them time to socialise and bond among themselves.
but for me, we only interact to do group assignments, and that's 'bout it.
so when they ask me about MY day,
i dont tell them much.
not because i dont want to.
it's because i cant.
all that i can tell them is this,
"slacked at home, went to school, come back, go to work, come back, sleep."
and that's about it.
talk about meaningless.
my daily schedule is so packed that i cant take a break without planning for it
a week in advance.
no joke.
i so badly want to get out of this gridlock,
but i cant.
well, you cant have everything.
anyway, if you want to experience how i feel,
here's a similar situation:
there's a pathway next to a fast-flowing river.
while you take a kayak to the end of the river, alone,
a group of your friends take the pathway to the same place.
since you can only pedal so slow, and
they can only walk so fast,*
you leave them behind after a while.
though you reach the destination 1st,
you still have to wait for them.
loneliness settles in and you start losing it.
meanwhile,
your friends are walking along the path,
joking, laughing, singing amongst themselves.
and when they reach the place,
know what they find?
a raving lunatic that they used to call
"a friend".
--+--
i think i'm somewhere between * and the one below it.
sigh...
what do you think?

2005-09-05T15:46:00.000+08:00

hmm...
morning classes for the whole week...
but cant wait for the new campus, tho'.
hope got windows for me to stone through.
lol...
went to Comex (computer expo) yesterday.
the crowd turnout was insane.
ok, ok.
so i asked for it by turning up on the last day.
so sue me.
but anyway, bought a128mb SD memory card at a steal for only $38.
then looked around for mp3 players and some digital cameras.
but i dont see a need for those things.
my phone plays videos, mp3, takes pictures (quality's not too bad),
mixes music, is a storage device, torchlight, paperweight, calculator,
watch/alarm clock, goes online to check my email and blog/s.
oh, and did i say that it receives and makes calls and messages, too?
okay, so the camera isnt that great.
but it's good enough to capture text in detail.
all that for less than $300.
and btw, forgot to mention that it has a 2" screen.
talk about getting more than you bargained for.
a LOT more.
haha.

2005-09-02T21:48:00.000+08:00

what a whirlwind week.
on monday, had group assignment right off the bat.
the next day, another one falls into our lap.
n everything's gotta be done the day after.
sigh.
but studies aside.(can we actually DO that?)
read an email questionaire rply from a friend of mine.
found out things tt i din even noe.
(which is weird, cos i seem 2 noe evrything happening 'round me)
surprised me. but not shocked. just pleasantly surprised.(aww..)
god knows why my friend felt that way towards me.
speaking of which,
i noticed that i seem to 'click' better with girls than guys over these past few years.
they tell me everything even when all i asked was these 4 words,"how was your day?"
but hey, at least i dont act effeminately unlike those other sissies that hang around girls.
not tt i have anything against them, that is.
well yes, they do drag me along to go shopping for clothes or looking for stuff (the girls, not sissies.)
but sometimes i just tag along for lack of anything else to do.
yeah, if only there was more of me in this world...
but then, effeminate guys would become extinct.
oh well.
might as well not take away their 'livelihood'.
haha.
ok, now i'm getting evil.
haaa..(stretches arms)
i miss blogging for the masses.(cracks fingers)
i came back 'cos u guys ask me to.(cracks neck. twice.)
and for that, i thank you.
yep. i noe it's been a while.
been busy with school, work,my private blog, counseling...(yes, u noe who u are.)
sometimes i even amaze myself.(wow!)
it's as if there's a different me for all these things.
i dont noe if anyone else is going thru dis.
if there is, i'd like to meet tt person.
but for now, it's me against the music. (and no, i'm not talking 'bout the britney spears song.)

(ps: dude, i give you time to think and reconsider about that bet. she's right on schedule. you'd better rmb where u put the nydc coupons nxt yr, or else it's gonna b in cash...)

2005-08-04T20:28:00.000+08:00

i never knew my course could be so intense. wad others learn in 3 days, we learn in 3 hrs. that's barely enough time to think! Aaaarrrgggh! cant afford to lose concertration in class. wad's worse is that i have to balance it along with my work schedule and wadever scraps of social life i have left.
well, on the bright side, i am actually able to go to the fren fiesta at my old sch. shld catch up with my old friends and get to know how they're doing. that's a consolation of sorts. but still most of them would still be in their respective schools.
speaking of which, met a few of my ex-sch mates during the past few days and they dont seem to recognise me. i mean, do i realli look that diff'rent?
sigh...

2005-07-17T02:01:00.000+08:00

video opens into a new window.
talk about being gothic. this takes the word to a whole new level of morbid....

2005-07-17T01:23:00.000+08:00

everyone needs someone someday.
i still have no one till today.
cos that someday still has yet to come for me...

2005-07-05T15:56:00.000+08:00

Could hardly wait till i start school in 2 weeks.
strange as it may seem.
this loneliness i could do without.
my life is losing steam.
the stress that's repressed now wants out.
till when can i hold it in?
'cause deep inside, i'm breaking up.
matter of time, i'd go insane.
but before i do,
hear me out will you,
in the end we'll meet again...
-adam360

2005-07-05T15:53:00.000+08:00

Like A Stone
On a cobweb afternoon
In a room full of emptiness
By a freeway I confess
I was lost in the pages
Of a book full of death
Reading how we'll die alone
If we're good we're laid to rest
Anywhere we want to go

[Chorus]
In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
'll wait for you there
Alone

On my deathbed
I will pray
To the gods and the angels
Like a pagan to anyone
Who will take me to heaven
To a place I recall
I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised
The wine was bled
And there you led me on

[Chorus]
In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
I'll wait for you there
Alone
Alone

And on I read
Until the day was gone
And I sat in regret
Of all the things I've done
For all that I've blessed
And all that I've wronged
In dreams until my death
I will wander on

[Chorus]
In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
I'll wait for you there
Alone
Alone -Audioslave

2005-06-29T15:10:00.000+08:00

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.

With respect to money, you spend whatever you have.

You think good luck depends on maintaining good relationships with others.

The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.

You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.

When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

Who's" the True You?

Thoughts Of Suiciety...

2005-06-29T14:46:00.000+08:00

Did you know that the majority of people who commit suicide do so by jumping off buildings?
because to them, falling, no matter how brief the time spent suspended in mid-air, feels like flying...
until....
they.....
HIT......
the.......
..........GROUND..........

most of them don't think 'bout hitting the ground part.
and with this story, i'm giving others contemplating suicide a chance to do so and for you to help these people.
peace...

Relationships? What's That?

2005-06-29T14:35:00.000+08:00

Relationships, relationships, relationships...
man, this word keeps popping up in blogs evrywhere.
even this one.
but to those who've faithfully been keeping up with my blog,
don't worry, i won't be going all sappy on this topic, (unlike countless others)
gotta rebel against the masses!
all i need is for you people to hear me out:
i, (and a few others i know) didn't go thru any of this for the past few years and look how i turned out,
crazy...
weird....
mentally unstable......
a hazard to society.......
urm...
okay, so i'm not perfect.
sue me.
sheesh.
peace out.

2005-06-29T14:32:00.000+08:00

Between Angels & Insects

There’s no money there’s no possessions
Only obsession I don’t need that shit
Take my money take my obsession

I just want to be heard loud and clear are my words
Coming from within man tell them what you heard
It’s about a revolution in your heart and in your mind
Till you find a conclusion lost out in obsession
Diamond rings get you nothing but a life long lesson
And your pocketbooks stressing
You’re a slave to the system working jobs that you hate for that shit you don’t need
It’s too bad the world is based on greed
Step back and see
Stop thinking about yourself start thinking about

There’s no money there’s no possession only
Obsession I don’t need that shit
Take my money take my possession take my obsession
I don’t need that shit

Because everything is nothing
And emptiness isn’t everything
This reality is really just a fucked up dream
With the flesh and the blood that you call your soul
Flip it inside out it’s a big black hole
Take your money burn it up like an asteroid
Possession though you’re never gonna feel the void
Take it away and learn your best lesson
The heart the soul the life the passion

There’s no money there’s no possession
Only obsession I don’t need that shit
Take my money take my possession take my obsession
I don’t need that shit

Money possession obsession
Present yourself press your clothes comb your hair
And clock in
You just can’t win just can’t win
And the things you own own you
Nooooooooooooowwwwwwwww....

Take my money take my possession take my obsession
I don’t need that shit
Fuck your money fuck your possession fuck your
Obsession I don’t need that shit
Money possession obsession I don’t need that shit
-Papa Roach

2005-06-29T14:12:00.000+08:00

You need understanding.
In your life there has been many people that
could never seem too comprehend your
personality. Now you have either become an
out-cast because of their narrow minds or you
have adjusted yourself to them, and never
letting them see who you are deep inside. You
now think that no one will ever understand you
and you hate that fact. Though you are scared
of what the effects might be if you would
decide to let someone in so you keep a safe
distance that you both curse and bless.

What Do You Need in Your Life? [dark pics]
brought to you by Quizilla

2005-06-20T13:50:00.000+08:00

btw, ppl, i've changed my image a bit.
no more geeky, thick-rimmed specs. (tho' those were my trademark then)
nor anymore neat hairdo.
for those who haven't seen me in a long time, you wont be able to recognise me.
yeah, i'm that diff'rent.
but my personality's still the same.
so don't worry.
i still look very laidback and easygoing.
too bad no pics.
oh well,
unless there's a get2gether,
you wont be able to tell.

2005-06-20T13:42:00.000+08:00

just thought up this stupid joke 5 min ago:

These two guys go to a whorehouse.
The first guy goes in then comes out and says,
"My wife is better."
The second guy goes in then comes out and says,
"You know what?
Your wife IS better."

2005-06-19T21:05:00.000+08:00

okay, one question.
wad do u guys want to se on my blog?
pictures?
jokes?
observations and views of my life?
observations and views of other ppl's life?
or just me dissing other ppl?
put ur comments in the tagboard...

2005-06-17T20:55:00.000+08:00

okay now, after some minor emotional/physical obstacles during my down-time,
it's back to my "detached observer of the world" persona...
surprisingly, i don't think i've missed much in the few days i was "off".
cause this was what i observed in the past week:

on my way to work one day, when i saw one man in his 30s playing an xbox console-not that there's anything wrong with it- but while he was playing, he was also carrying his toddler...("...release the controller and put the child down carefully, sir! good. now, tell us where and what you have done to her real parents...")
in the mrt back from work, saw 2 boys playing with lego bricks -again,nothing amiss there- that weremade to resemble guns.heck, if not for the multi-colored bricks, i could have sworn it was an ak-47 stuck in the kid's pants. is this what kids nowadays are learning to do? by the time they're 12, they'll be making real bombs from scratch...(okay so i'm over-reacting)
at the giant hypermarket one night, i noticed this bearded guy wearing a turban and prayer robe(jubah).i'm not one who judges people by their looks,ever. but besides all that he's wearing, i also noticed that underneath the robe, he was wearing army motif pants.if he was wearing that in walmart in the usa,
people would think that osama was popping by to do groceries. thus, leading to him being tackled to the floor by supermarket security...*OOF!* *thud*

and lastly, in june, friends have what i call "summer fever". one can't stop singing the "friends in need" song. another seems to be more talkative than usual. all this incessant babbling is making me feel mentally drained. as in, i feel like stoning more often than usual.*stones* see, i told u so... *stones* i think i need more-*stones*-rest *stones*...

2005-06-16T12:29:00.000+08:00

Feel Good Inc.

(Feel Good.....)
[Damon Albarn]
City's breaking down on a camel’s back.
They just have to go 'cos they dont hold back
So all you fill the streets it’s appealing to see
You wont get out the county, 'cos you're bad and free
You've got a new horizon It's ephemeral style.
A melancholy town where we never smile.
And all I wanna hear is the message beep.
My dreams, they've got to kiss, because I dont get sleep, no..

BEEP

Windmill, Windmill for the land.
Learn forever hand in hand
Take it all in on your stride
It is sticking, falling down
Love forever love is free
Let’s turn forever you and me
Windmill, windmill for the land
Is everybody in?

[De La Soul]
Laughing gas these hazmats, fast cats,
Lining them up like ass cracks,
Ladies, homies, at the track
its my chocolate attack.
Shit, I'm stepping in the heart of this here
Care bear bumping in the heart of this here
watch me as I gravitate
hahahahahahaa.

Yo, we gonna go ghost town,
this motown,
with yo sound
you're in the place
you gonna bite the dust
Cant fight with us
With yo sound
you kill the INC.
so dont stop, get it, get it
until you're cheddar header.
Yo, watch the way I navigate
ahahahahahhaa.

(Feel Good[4x])

[Damon Albarn]
Windmill, Windmill for the land.
Learn forever hand in hand
Take it all in on your stride
It is sticking, falling down
Love forever love is free
Let’s turn forever you and me
Windmill, windmill for the land
Is everybody in?

[De La Soul]
Dont stop, get it, get it
we are your captains in it
steady,
watch me navigate,
ahahahahahhaa.

Dont stop, get it, get it
we are your captains
in it
steady,
watch me navigate
ahahahahahhaa.

(Feel Good....)

- Gorillaz

2005-06-12T21:47:00.000+08:00

You Are a Snarky Blogger!

You've got a razor sharp wit that bloggers are secretly scared of.
And that's why they read your posts as often as they can!

What kind of blogger are you?

2005-06-10T12:24:00.000+08:00

feeling a little bit better, now.
at least when i walk around,
i dont feel as though the world is suddenly tilting on its axis evry now and then.
at least.
what's even better is that the dreamy feeling has also disappeared along with the fever.
it feels as though a huge burden has been lifted off from me.
or maybe it was those bags that i just put down.
anyway, i could use a little time alone for a day to meditate, do yoga, or just tinker with my computer.
who am i kidding?
screw the first two.
it's the computer i want!
actually, i dont really have much to blog.
but all i can say is when life throws it's
worse at you, dont fight it.instead, welcome it with open arms...

2005-06-09T20:23:00.000+08:00

dont get me wrong,
i dont have a disease.
i got plenty of 'em.
since i have the ability to be free from illness all year round,there'll be one time each year when i'll get infected by flu, cough, etc. within a matter of hours.and with that kind of symtoms, i'm better off being comatose.seriously. i'm THAT bedridden.anyway, here is a more or less comprehensive list fo what i have:(not im any particular order)1.fever2.cough3.asthma4.flu5.worst headache ever6.lost my voice due to7.a really bad sore throat. (by the time u read this i have regained at least a bit of my voice)
actually, i prefer it this way. instead of being mildly sick a few times a year and missing out loads of stuff compared to missing out on just 1 day. cant believe i slept for twntey hrs since yesterday nite!but i did feel refrhesed,though. i'm feeilng so woozy i dont think taht im evn blogggng rhgit...tlil tmomrorow tehn...

i got a disease

2005-06-09T18:54:00.000+08:00

Disease

Feels like you made a mistake
You made somebody’s heart break
But now I have to let you go
I have to let you go

You left a stain
On every one of my good days
But I am stronger than you know
I have to let you go

No one’s ever turned you over
No one’s tried
To ever let you down,
Beautiful girl
Bless your heart

I got a disease
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy baby
I can’t live without you
Tell me what I am supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from it
Don’t pay no attention to me
I got a disease

Feels like you’re making a mess
You’re hell on wheels in a black dress
You drove me to the fire
And left me there to burn

Every little thing you do is tragic
All my life, oh was magic
Beautiful girl
I can’t breathe

I got a disease
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy baby
I can’t live without you
Tell me what I am supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from it
Don’t pay no attention to me
I got a disease
I think that I’m sick
But leave me be while my world is coming down on me
You taste like honey, honey
Tell me can I be your honey
Be, be strong
Keep telling myself it that won’t take long till
I’m free of my disease

Yeah well free of my disease
Free of my disease

I got a disease
Deep inside me
Makes me feel uneasy baby
I can’t live without you
Tell me what I am supposed to do about it
Keep your distance from it
Don’t pay no attention to me
I got a disease

I think that I’m sick
But leave me be while my world is coming down on me
You taste like honey, honey
Tell me can I be your honey
Be, be strong
Keep telling myself it that won’t take long till
I’m free of my disease
Yeah well free of my disease
Free of my disease

-Matchhbox Twenty

2005-06-08T13:48:00.000+08:00

now i know the reason for me acting all dreamy for the past few days.
i'm in love.
well, actually in love with the state of being in love.
there's a word for it. forgot what it is, though.
haven't felt like this since 5 yrs ago...
must be due to the lack of social interaction with friends.
a withdrawal symptom?
sigh.
but no matter wad, i will not let it jeorpadize -or change- any relations within my close circle of friends that i have painstakingly forged over the years.Period.

i think it began with that cute 7-11 cashier that i keep seeing at the new outlet.
just the way way she looks at me with those brown-contacts-covered eyes...
is

just

so...

anyway, i know my will is strong enuf to hold me back from lusting for every girl i see.
skirt-chasing is just not my thing.(I'M NOT GAY!)
i'm the kind of guy that sits and waits for the perfect girl to drop onto my lap.
but not literally.
just dont see the need for one, yet.
but this feeling will pass, just like it did, 5 yrs ago.
it'll take weeks or mths for me to get over this.
oh well, must keep myself occupied, then.
and as for my single-not looking status,
it's now single-in denial.
and as for u ppl who keep pestering me on when am i going to get a gf, give me 8 good, undebateable reasons why i shld.
then i'll reconsider.
i'll be reachable on my email and friendster.
speaking of which,
i'm on a testimonial-writing rampage.
so watch out for any new testimonials from me, ok?
this coming from a guy who only has 7 testimonials in his profile since early last year.
*hint hint*

reinventing privacy

2005-06-05T18:02:00.000+08:00

why is it i keeep hearing all this shit 'bout bloggers being thumbed down by the authorities for racial and political content?
whatever happened to the rights of freee speech?
has the time arrived when we no longer control our own mouths?(in this case, fingers?)
could this have led to the downfall of the now-defunct Speaker's Corner?
everything posted on any blog, anywhere, is the author's opinion of things,not an actual representation. you either agree, or forget you ever saw the post. it's only letters on a screen.
weblogs, in my opinion, are the authors' personal space. they should be free to write whatever they want, without fear of their posts being analysed by ppl spoiling for a ban for freedom of speech.
privacy /n [U] the state of being free from public scutiny.

pet priority?

2005-06-05T17:53:00.000+08:00

I wonder what's the deal with ppl who buy clothes for their pets. Most of those that do are dog owners.if pets were meant to wear clothes, they wouldn't have fur! Some even go thru the trouble of buying booties for their pets' paws!and the most wackiest thing? the animals are put in prams and pushed around like human babies/toddlers!
what is this world coming to?
we all understand how much u ppl love your pets,
but spoiling 'em with lavish accessories and treatment wont make the animal any more human.
there are plenty of abused pets out there, so why not put the money where it's most needed and donate to the spca, or better, adopt them urself. the animals wont thank you, but the organisation will.
there is a reason why pets are animals, not ppl...

Life Update

2005-06-02T15:04:00.000+08:00

My life just seems to get messier with each passing day. with all the admin issues of my school, ns deferment, my 3 jobs... it's amazing how i handle 'em all. my mind, btw, is still in a state of unstable peace.with the lack of social contact and all, don't know if i can make it to july 18th, when my course starts.
arrggh!
it seems that fear and pain has been taken over by a manic obsession for thrill and excitement.
i can't control it.
for example, i'll be the 1st one who bungee jumps off a bridge while the rest are attending safety briefing.
maybe that's why i don't seem to want to start a relationship, either i'm too manic, too possessive,too philosophical, or all of the above.
now, with girl in her right mind wants that?
at least, that's what i think.
even the geeky and lame friends whom i've known for the last 5 yrs or so had their first kiss a long, long time ago.
and it's not because i can't get one.
am i missing out?
you tell me.
now you ponder on that while i make do with any scraps of pride that i may have left after logging this post.
so long and goodnight....

2005-05-31T19:03:00.000+08:00

Star Wars Horoscope for Aquarius

You can be cruel and torment people who disagree with you.
Deep down, there is a peace-loving, friendly side to you.
You have a knack for inflicting pain on people and use your intellect during battle.

Star wars character you are most like: Darth Vader

What is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

Helena

2005-05-31T17:35:00.000+08:00

Helena

Long ago

Just like the hearse you die to get in again

We are so far from you

Burning on just like a match you strike to incinerate

The lives of everyone you know

And what's the worst you take (worst you take)

from every heart you break (heart you break)

And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)

Well I've been holding on tonight

[Chorus]

What's the worst that I can say?

Things are better if I stay

So long and goodnight

Came a time

When every star fall brought you to tears again

We are the very hurt you sold

And what's the worst you take (worst you take)

from every heart you break (heart you break)

And like the blade you stain (blade you stain)

Well I've been holding on tonight

[Chorus]

What's the worst that I can say?

Things are better if I stay

So long and goodnight

And if you carry on this way

Things are better if I stay

So long and goodnight

Can you hear me?

Are you near me?

Can we pretend to leave and then

We'll meet again

When both our cars collide?

[Chorus]

What's the worst that I can say?

Things are better if I stay

So long and goodnight

And if you carry on this way

Things are better if I stay

So long and goodnight

So long and goodnight...

-My Chemical Romance

2005-04-12T16:00:00.000+08:00

out of boredom,I looked up on the attributes of my star sign,(not that i ever believed in this shit)and the results that i came up with were weirdly true:
Aquarius(jan19-Feb17)
*detached and unemotional
*tends to borrow without returning, unless asked
*a control freak
*anti-social
*seeks opportunities for personal gain
*has a perpetual urge to see things in a different perspective, even when others disagree
*is unrelenting in critisizing others
and this last point came up when i was doing a search on sociopaths.in the US, a study in 2001 showed that 4 out of 10 sociopaths convicted were born between jan 19 - feb 17(aquarius).

for the uniniciated, the difference between psychopaths and sociopaths is that psychos have a desire to kill, while the latter kills to have a desire. this is because to them, reading the newspaper and slitting someone's throat is the same thing.just hope that i don't turn out like any of the two...
(adam pulls out his machete, conceals it with a roll of newspaper, and makes his way into town, looking for someone to kill just to see how it feels like...)

Unexpected, expected...

2005-04-05T16:40:00.000+08:00

Listening to: Here Without You by 3 Doors Down
Thinking 'bout: my life so far...
...............................................................
It's finally happening to me.
I've actually lost interest in the world.
Whenever i start to do/say something,
I almost always know what is the conclusion due to my actions.
I have lost my sense of anticipation.
For example, say, a new box of crayons.
When you open up the box, they're nice and sharp,
neatly arranged in order.
but no matter how careful you are in using them, they'll end up ground-down,
stubby, and contaminated with other colours.
They're just a shadow of what they used to be.
Maybe i'm just too observant.
Now i get morbid thoughts every now and then.
Like, what's the use of eating when you'll just get hungry again a few hours later?
And
Why do people surround themselves with money, possesions
and materialistic friends and spouses
when in the end,
they'll die alone?
They say life is unpredictable, but i beg to differ.
ppl who say that must be blind, too lazy to think, or both.
Let me explain,
People just have to be more observant to what is happening around them
and calculate how their own actions can affect the situation.
And with that,
I leave you people out there with a piece of advice.
Eat right,
Stay healthy,
Die anyway.

Last Chance

2005-04-02T14:35:00.000+08:00

well, this is my last chance to appeal for a place in poly, republic, tt is. if not, then it's off to NAFA for me. i'm rooting for diploma in new media.

Tests That God Put Me Thru'

2005-03-24T11:38:00.000+08:00

this is a lo'down of wad has happened to me since the last post. internet went down, couldn't apply for poly, got rejected by them, hanging on to 3 jobs at once, lost my phone, who knows wad else would come my way. all i can do now is grit my teeth and hope for the best in my design sch. application.
sigh...

D-Day. (Prelude)

2005-02-28T11:50:00.000+08:00

Behold! For the day of judgement is nigh! Repent, and yer souls will not be forsaken!
Well, the time has come.
sigh.
i predict tt i'll be one of those below average students tt scraped thru for admission into poly.
tt's all i can dare say for now.
must keep myself preoccupied in order to stop think of theser things too much. tt's y i went to the fair yesterday.
alone.
must take control of my emotions NOW! before they take control of me later.
and before i leave for school for the last time,
a prayer is said
my fish is fed
and hope my dreams will not stop dead...

1 More Day...

2005-02-27T12:51:00.000+08:00

I know tt it's too late for regrets now. but i just want to get it off my chest. this song seems to sum up evrything tt i've been thru' over the past year.heck, it even has my name on it! just wish tt i could go back now...
16 just held some better days...

Adam's Song

2005-02-27T12:43:00.000+08:00

I never thought I'd die alone
I laughed the loudest who'd have known
I traced the cord back to the wall
No wonder it was never plugged in at all
I took my time, I hurried up
The choice was mine, I didn't think enough
I'm too depressed, to go on
You'll be sorry when I'm gone

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never thought I'd die alone
Another six months I'll be unknown
Give all my things to all my friends
You'll never set foot in my room again
You'll close it off, board it up
Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall
Please tell mom this is not her fault

I never conquered, rarely came
16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive
We couldn't wait to get outside
The world was wide, too late to try
The tour was over we'd survived
I couldn't wait till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone

I never conquered, rarely came
Tomorrow holds such better days
Days when I can still feel alive
When I can't wait to get outside
The world is wide, the time goes by
The tour is over, I'd survived
I can't wait till I get home
To pass the time in my room alone

Can I? Can't I?

2005-02-24T13:54:00.000+08:00

monday, 28th day of february in the year 2005.
that date will go down in my history as the most most difficult challenge to my sanity yet.
god.
how can i live thru the wkend?
seriously hope tt i can get good results,
and not have to take a walk down the
Boulevard Of Broken Dreams...

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

2005-02-24T13:41:00.000+08:00

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah,
Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah,
Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...

Am I Myself?

2005-02-23T13:32:00.000+08:00

feeling weird these past few days.
as in weirder than i usually am.
feel like i can't be happy anymore.
i can still manage a smile or a laugh, but it's all fake.
maybe i've finally run out of jokes.
god forbid.
now what do i do?
how do i release the tension tt always seem to be building up inside me?
if anyone tells a really funny joke to me now, don't think i could laugh...
i'll get the meaning, but it won't be funny to me anymore.

Beautiful Day...

2005-02-23T10:53:00.000+08:00

The heart is a bloom
Shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room
No space to rent in this town

You're out of luck
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
And you're not moving anywhere

You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace

It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away

You're on the road
But you've got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination

You love this town
Even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over
And it's been all over you

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Teach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out

It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
Don't need it now

Was a beautiful day
(U2)

Is It Too Late?

2005-02-22T19:52:00.000+08:00

i just feel like shooting myself today.
why?
cos dis morning on the bus to work,i read in the classifieds 'bout a job vacancy tt i've always wanted.
aquarium retailing.
*pause*
AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i shoved the newspaper into the bin at the bus stop.
clocked in at work 5 min late. kena "sounded" by M'am.
tried to drown out the nagging with imaginary noise in my head.
didn't work.
...dotz...
after 15 or so minutes of work, felt a cold coming on.
sneezed.hard.
again.
again.
for quite awhile.
AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*rubs head into the keyboard and drags it side to side.*
it burns!!!!!
went home still sniffling.
returned home to find my lil' sis screming at me for no apparent reason.just ask her to close the door, what....
life sucks for today.
*loads and cocks the magnum in his hand.*
BANG!
ouch!

Hey Mama

2005-02-21T13:38:00.000+08:00

Raaave it mama
la la la la la
Hey mama, this that beat that make you move, mama
Get on the floor and move your booty mama
We the blast masters blastin' up the drama
REEEEEEEWIIIIIIND!!!

Cutie cutie, make sure you move your booty
Shake that ting in all the city of sin, and
Hey shorty, I know you wanna party
and the way your body look really make me feel naughty
Cutie cutie, make sure you move your booty
Shake that thing in all the city of sin, and
Hey shorty, I know you wanna party and the way your body look really make me feel nauughty

I got a naughty naughty style and a naughty naughty crew
But everything I do, I do just for you
Im a little bit of Old, and a bigger bit of New
The true people know that the peas come through
We never cease(NOO), we never die no we never decease(NOO)
We multiply like we mathamatice
And then drop bombs 'cos your shaking to the beat,
(The bomb bombas, the base boom dramas)

Naw y'all know, who we are
y'all know, we the stars
Steady rockin' on y'alls boulevards
And, lookin' hard without bodyguards
(I do) what I can
(W)Ill.i.amAnd still I stand,with still mic in hand
(So come on mama (hey), dance to the druma)

Hey mama, this that beat that make you groove, mama(hey)
get on the floor and move your booty mama(yaw)
we the blast mastas blastin' up the jamma(hey)
so shake your bambama, come on now mama
Hey mama, this that beat that make you groove, mama(hey)
get on the floor and move your booty mama(yaw)
we the blast mastas blastin' up the drama
(la la la la la)

We the big town stompas, and big sound pumpas
The beat bump bumpas in your trunk trunkas
The girlies in the club with the big plump plumpas
And when I'm makin' love, my hip hump humps
It never quits(NOOOO)
I don't discriminate I pleasechicks(NOOOO)
Asian, Caucasian, black, I squeeze (aaaah)
(lubaluba) cause we the show stoppas
And the chief rockas, number one chief rockas

Naw y'all knaw, who we arey'all knaw, we the stars
Steady rockin' on y'alls boulevards
How we rockin' it girl, without body guards
She be, Fergie, from the crew
BEP, come and take heed, as we take the lead
(so come on pappa, lets do the drama)

Hey mama, this that beat that make you groove, mama(hey)
get on the floor and move your booty mama(yaw)
we the blast mastas blastin' up the jamma(hey)
so shake your bambama, come on now mama
Hey mama, this that beat that make you groove, mama(hey)
get on the floor and move your booty mama(yaw)
we the blast mastas blastin' up the jamma
(NAAAAAAW NAAAAAAAAAW)

Cutie cutie, make sure you move your booty
Shake that thing like we in the city of sin, and
Hey shorty, I know you wanna party
and the way your body look really make me feel nauuughty,
Cutie cutie, make sure you move your booty
Shake that thing like we in the city of sin, and
No faking, I know you see me shaking and the way I break it down
I got the whole earth quaking
Off the richter
Off the richter
Off the richter
Off the richter
Off the richter
Off the richter
Steady, are you ready??

We're the BEP crew and the beebop breakers,
The boom bap maker and the party heavyweighters,
We break it on down for the mamas with the shakers,
Come on, do it, do it, come on, do it,We are the soulful invader,
The mind stimulator,Tunes for the DJs who switch the cross fader,
So get on the floor and move your body,
Are y'all ready to parrrrrrrtyyyyyy?!

Hey mama, this that beat that make you move, mama(hey)
get on the floor and move your booty mama(yaw)
we the blast mastas blastin' up the drama (Oh dance)(hey)
so shake your bambama, come on now mama
Hey mama, this that beat that make you groove, mama(hey)
get on the floor and move your booty mama(yaw)
we the blast mastas blastin' up the jamma
la la la la la (fade)
<black eyed peas>

Chingay = Shitty, Leh

2005-02-20T11:56:00.000+08:00

was walking along town on my way home wen i met syahmi, aslinda,amira, firdaus n eoin. they were there to watch the chingay parade. hving nothing else to do, i tagged along.frm 6 to 7pm, all i saw were harley parading up and down orchard rd. might as well watch frm tv. noticed where all the smart, rich ppl were- crown hotel and the meritus mandarin...
...dotz...
finaly heard some drum beats later on. sounded like B.E.P's "hey mama" to me. anyway took pics for the 5 of them b4 i had to leave. came home to find no one there. they left a note tt said tt they went to expo without me. i was like, wad the hell did i come home so early for?
aaaarrrrgggh!

A Smile Can Mean So Much...

2005-02-17T13:09:00.000+08:00

I'm including this liitle story to show you how important a smile can be.
***************************************************************
"(Dr.) Motto had a patient who committed suicide from the Golden Gate in 1963, but the jump that affected him most occurred in the seventies.
'I went to this guy's apartment afterward with the assistant medical examiner,'he told me. 'This guy was in his thirties, lived alone, pretty bare apartment. He'd written a note and left it on his bureau. It said,'I'm going to walk to the bridge. If one person smiles at me on the way, I will not jump.'"

2005-02-16T12:03:00.000+08:00

WARNING: post contains O'level related issues. reader discretion is advised.
********************************************************************
omfg! the results are coming!
EEEEEEEKKKKK!*dies*
.........
*paramedics attempt to save adam's life*
"alright, 1,2,3...CLEAR!" (thump!)
(tit,tit,tit...)
.........
i feel a panic attack coming on.
but seriously, it is a bit- sorry-a lot nerve wrecking, u noe.
imagine, ppl screaming, laughing,crying.
and that's b4 getting their results.
after that, well i leave it to ur imagination...
heck, no use having regrets now. what's done is done.
there's no way to turn back time now.
unless i think of a machine that could,hmm...*tinkers with the thought*
ugh! forget it.
but these kind of things u really can't think too much about, or you'll go nuts.
anyway, i have to go do something now, bye...
*takes off his clothes and runs naked around orchard rd, surrounded by a crowd turnout that's bigger than at the chingay parade.*

I Gotta Through This...

2005-02-15T14:58:00.000+08:00

If only I could get through this
I just gotta get through this...

I gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta make , gotta make it, gonna make it through
Said I'm gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta take my, gotta take my mind off you

Give me just a second and I'll be all right
Surely one more moment couldn't break my heart
Give me 'til tomorrow then I'll be okay
Just another day and then I'll hold you tight

When your love is falling like the rain
I close my eyes and it falls again
When will I get the chance to say I love you
I pretend that you're already mine
Then my heart ain't breaking every time
I look into your eyes...

If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
God, God, gotta help me get through this

I gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta make, gotta make it, gonna make it through
Said I'm gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta take, gotta take my mind off you

Give me just a second and I'll be all right
Surely one more moment couldn't break my heart
Give me 'til tomorrow then I'll be okay
Just another day and then I'll hold you tight

When your love is falling like the rain
I close my eyes and it falls again
When will I get the chance to say I love you
I pretend that you're already mine
Then my heart ain't breaking every time
I look into your eyes...

If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this (I just gotta get through this)
God, God, gotta help me get through this (I just gotta get through this)
ohh, ohh, ohh yeah...
If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this (I just gotta get through this)
God, God, gotta help me get through this (I just gotta get through this)
I gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta make, gotta make it, gonna make it through
Said I'm gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta make, gotta make it, gonna make it through
Said I'm gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta make, gotta make it, gonna make it through
Said I'm gotta get through this...
(Daniel Bedingfield)

Gong Xi Fa Cai.......

2005-02-10T15:12:00.000+08:00

To all my frenz n' fellow bloggers out there who celebrate it,hv a happy chinese new year ppl! cheers!-urm, i mean, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamm-seng!!!!!!!!!!!!!

party @ ubin aftermath

2005-02-07T13:41:00.000+08:00

since evryone enjoyed themselves then, i wonder if they wanna do it again.but if they do, we could only do 2 things in one day.eg;cycle n fish OR fish n barbeque OR barbeque n cycle.haiz...

...so much for my happy birthday...

2005-01-31T13:58:00.000+08:00

looks like i'll be spending this b'day alone.i don't blame u guys for having other stuff to do today.it sucks to have ur b'day to fall on a weekday,and on a monday too.sure, i am a bit disappointed u ppl can't make it today.i mean, who wouldn't?but hey,family and/or commitment comes first,rite?

a better reason to live

2005-01-31T13:01:00.000+08:00

my life's been a constant challenge to please everyone ever since i could walk.why?i really don't know.maybe that's the reason why i started telling jokes.to find acceptance.i know some ppl find it a bit lame.
if so,
GO READ ANOTHER BLOG,ASSHOLE!
i need to find a better reason to live.this issue has ben getting to me so much so that i can't finish a meal without feeling like throwing up,no matter how hungry i feel.heck, i just got called "useless" by my own mom 2 seconds ago.i'm at my wit's edge.i do't feel like talking to anyone the next few days.sorry.what a birthday this turned out to be...

just don't care anymore!!!! pt2

2005-01-17T18:59:00.000+08:00

she forgave him.not that he deserved it tho'.how i knew? i read her blog, stupid!anyway, for the 2nd session of the d&d, usher's yeah began.i was like,alrite!as with the 1st session i grooved with my homies before drifting off to meet new ppl.came across sha and ain with meng soon alongside me(not that they mind him being there)so i danced with them to sean paul's gimme the light.and when i took ain by the hand and stared spinning her 'round me,everyone stood there gawking,despite my "single, not looking"status.pai-seh leh! but i regained composure and continued on. apparently, ain was a newbie too,albeit a sporting one.it was a great d&d, till i ended up missing the last train and bus.but that's another story...

just don't care anymore!!!!

2005-01-17T18:51:00.000+08:00

let's get this over with. i skip to the dinner and dance part.
it started off slowly with a few contests to warm things up a bit.
the gang and me felt a bit hungry, so we went down to enjoy the spread(not knowing of the consequences later)
we came back up to the song of maroon 5's she will be loved, sung by a tone-deaf idiot.
after the song ended and picking our ear drums off the floor, techno music came on.
PARTY TIME!
i started dancing with my buddies in the beginning to shake off the initial nervousness that ran up my spine.i then drifted off to groove with other people for a change.
that's when i met these two ladies gyrating like crazy to the rythmn.
they came up to me and saifud,but after a few minutes, they were too much even for a hyper guy like me. so i went back to my frens and did a great smooth dance solo(courtesy of heineken and usher's dance moves)not bad for a 1st timer.after the 1st rave session, i sensed that kim was fuming with jealousy or something. could it be sai's playboy atitude
or his disregard for her feelings? tune in next week for more...

2005-01-07T18:48:00.000+08:00

finally got the chance to go on an excursion outside of poly.
twice.
we went to the gardenia factory before going to the yakult one.
after that, made some more new friends(some of which are just plain nuts)
sorry for not having anything else better to write here.
i got bored.

2005-01-06T19:49:00.000+08:00

today, i came to sp only to get frozen upon arrival. after being released to thaw out, we had to wait for four hours for the next programme.our group first made its way to foodcourt 3 for breakfast. while eating, we took the chance to get to know each other a bit more. and before we knew it, we were near a cafe with a deck of cards, playing blackjack. it was finally time for our aerospace flight simulation to begin, but it turned out to be a mediocre experience of flying the real thing.which sucks.

2005-01-06T19:22:00.000+08:00

ok, ok, so i posted late. sue me.
but at least i'm alive.
heck, what do you care.you're not the one going through this, i am
.so shut up and read.
it was wet yesterday.
apparently the whole island was. from braddell to dover, the stubborness of rain was there.
the incessent pitter-patter or tiny drops drove me to near insanity in the train!
it rained all the way till 9.30am.
so much for the high ropes course.
at least we all got to do some bouldering/rock-climbing.
but alas, it resulted in sore arms.
life's not fair.
of course not, if it was, there won't be any compassion in the world.
sigh...
why me?...

Singapore Poly adventures Pt.1

2005-01-04T18:30:00.000+08:00

as i embark on thre trials and turmoils of poly life for two weeks, all will be recorded here and archived for the future. i missed yesterday's log as i was too tired to.
sorry.
not really.
damn.
anyway, did business today at the stock market simulator. not bad. got potential. too bad i'm not going for that course. damn.
oh well, got the high ropes event tomorrow and hope it doesn't rain.
you'll know that i survived when i have another post after this one.
wish me luck!
yeah, rite.
who am i kidding?